During teenage years, the early inquisitiveness regarding the world shifts more onto the self. A lot of changes on the inside and outside happen simultaneously. There are changes in the body, priorities, interests, eating and sleeping patterns, level of education, expectations from the self and parents,etc Along with these changes, the need to belong, need to be understood, need to be accepted, need to make own choices, need to explore new ideas, and need to be loved also tags along. It is natural for them to perceive the world differently than us. We may also feel that teenagers feel more and understand less. Reason being, their brains may be emotionally developed by now but their logical thinking abilities are still developing. They are taking in a lot of feedback from their external environment to form an internal one and they easily get swayed by behaviours which feel good. As they are sensitive to the feedback from their environment, it is important that we handle their failures very carefully, even more so than how we celebrate their wins. They are still learning about the world and themselves. Open conversations, trying to understand them, listening with patience, asking rather than assuming, sharing our failures and success stories, engaging once in a while in their activities of interest, teaching them problem solving skills, teaching them to weigh consequences before they act and creating an atmosphere of acceptance can be game changers. Children learn from their environment. When we practice seeing the bright side of things, handling conflicts patiently, focusing on solutions rather than problems, and accepting ourselves, they learn too. The most valuable thing that we can give to our children is creating an environment of acceptance for ourselves and them.

- Shipra Lamba
Psychologist