Identity can be expressed in complicated ways in a country as complex as India. Claiming my identity is not simple is not just a point of law. To assert one's identity is a war of attrition in courts, government offices, and out in the world. All of that takes a toll on time and energy and dignity.

It sounds innocent enough to change a gender marker on a document, but unfortunately, it is a system where there are no simple steps, only rules and rules all while the person navigating may be subjected to invasive stares while engaging with officials that are rarely, unhelpful. To change one's gender marker, one must apply for an associated transgender certificate under the Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Act (2019). Medical evidence is not required by law at this point (it was), but unhelpful official processes will expect medical evidence as well as direct state inappropriate questions or deny the person claiming their gender just by stating that they did not provide enough information to be trans enough.

Once one has gone through the process of paying the costs (that are associated) to change one's gender marker, and they have successfully done through one entity, they will then have this sort of process or humiliation and indignity and repeat it sadly over Aadhaar, PAN, passport, bank accounts, job records, etc.

The ambitions of parenthood are also complicated. Even though adoption laws include provision for a single application, no provision exists for joint adoption for LGBTQ+ couples, and transgender people. Current government documents only have a “Male” or “Female” option. Transgender people cannot obtain a valid ID in a digital system. People do not persist with the digital methodology.

The problem isn't the experience of being transgender. The problem is the inability to accept.